I Make More Money Than My Man

In the dating world, the phrase “dating down” is often used.  Many think of dating down as meaning one person in the relationship brings more financially to the table than the other.  Quite often we see this when a financially secure male rescues and marries the female who is struggling just to make ends meet.  Times have changed in that women are seeing the fruits of their labor mature and are making salaries comparable to their male counter parts, but the dating pool of men who are considered a financial fit is shrinking at alarming rates.  And in Atlanta, you are bound to run into this situation. So I have to wonder… Is there a problem with dating a man who make less money than you? 

Tip #1 - Be Honest with Yourself
If you prefer not to date or marry a man who makes less than you, don’t get involved with anyone making less.  It’s not that you are a bad person, this is your belief and you have that right!  Don’t settle for what you are not comfortable with.  You will not be happy if you choose to pursue this, and it will cause serious problems for you and him.  I’m just saying.

Tip #2 - He Who Has the Money Makes the Rules
In one word, the above mentioned title means “control”.  I know that it sounds a bit harsh but usually that is the way it goes.  It is difficult as a money and decision maker to hand over the reins to a person who doesn’t do that in the corporate world.  Being in control at all times can make a woman appear masculine and emasculates the male.

 – Right off the bat…take money out of it.  Discover each other’s strong suits and build off that.  Example, he budgets well and can enjoy life’s pleasures, then he would be the one in charge of planning dinners, outings and vacations.  There are all types of controls to be shared in a relationship find them, respect them and build off of them.

Tip #3 - Set Realistic Expectations

Skiing in the South of France, weekend trips to Morocco, dining in Rome…not going to happen like that!  You are involved with a man who has limited resources, why would you expect him to do those things? Hell, have you even done those things yourself? 

-  Setting realistic expectations and knowing what your mate can and cannot do at that time, makes it easier to enjoy them.

Tip #4- Maintain a Level of Respect

Just because he earns less does not make him less, just like your earn more doesn’t make you more.  Be respectful of each other’s feelings and situations.  No one wants to be disrespected about their current situation.

 -  A very key important feature should you decide to date a man who makes less than you is to make it your business.  Girlfriends DO NOT need to know all of your business.  Sometimes, their input can be a hindrance, you are fully competent in communicating your wants and needs to him without outside rumblings from the peanut gallery.

TIP #5 – Trouble Don’t Last Always

Today he is down, tomorrow he may be up.  That just means that you never know what God has in store for you and your mate.  If you have chosen correctly, you chose a man who is capable of meeting all of your needs whether it is now or in god’s appointed time. 

- Don’t give up on him, and know that he is watching your examples of success.  He knows what type of woman you are and what it takes to lead you.  He is not doing this by himself, he has help.

Peace and blessings,

Phaedra