OH THE RACHETNESS, the High Price of Fame…How Far Would You Go?

A few weeks ago, the blogosphere was taken aback from a snippet of the sex tape that was supposedly “leaked” of Love and Hip-Hop reality star Mimi Faust and her boyfriend Nikko London (Smith) whatever.  Here’s how the story goes, Mimi and Nikko, now a couple, love to tape their sexual escapades for their own viewing pleasure.  Oddly enough, this particular escapade gets out somehow and lands right on the desk of Vivid Productions, a well-known company that distributes adult content.  Mimi and Nikko have no earthly idea how the tape got there, but are now promoting, marketing and selling their sex tape on- line, DVD and whatever else they can get their hands on for profit.  Sounds stupid?  Well it is!

Now there are two things that I have no problem with…people who watch adult content, and the people who make adult content.  It’s not my designer bag so I don’t have to carry it!  What I do have a problem with is when people try to act as if they are completely innocent and know nothing about an adult film; they starred, in choreographed and sold to the highest bidder!  Kim Kardashian’s tape was leaked, Mimi’s tape appears to have been packaged with a neat little bow and handed directly to the distributor!  As a matter of fact, Vivid Productions is the same company that distributed the Kardashian tape.  Now I say that Kim’s tape was leaked because this woman sued Vivid Productions due to the fact that the tape was sold without her permission or consent.  Kim later dropped the case and received an unspecified amount of cash in the settlement, plus Vivid Productions ceased production of the tape.  Clearly Kim was upset over the whole thing.  Mimi on the other hand is pushing forward with the distribution of the tape and clearly not as upset as one might be if their “personals” were being shown on the internet and distributed nationwide on hard copy.  If you were Mimi, wouldn’t you want to find out who leaked the tape, how much they were compensated, and beat their tail before contacting the production company and informing them they are about to get sued?  I’m just saying.

Television personalities, radio hosts and bloggers have gotten on the bandwagon speaking their mind on how a 40 something year old mother of one could do such a thing this late in life and the ramifications this may have on her 3-year old daughter as she goes through life.  There have been some valid points made but…it’s not my cup of Earl Grey tea so I don’t have to sip it! When it comes to that, my only hope is that her daughter grows up to be a well-adjusted young woman who is somehow unaffected by her mother’s past actions and acrobatic moves in the bedroom and bathroom, and that she, (the daughter) will live a happy, healthy well productive life.

The motivation behind the couple’s shameless marketing tactics of a “leaked” sex tape is baffling to me.  If it was intended for personal viewing and it is now public, wouldn’t you be trying to shut it down instead of promoting it?  But as Miss Faust alluded to on her Instagram page, "it’s no one business what I do"… and she is absolutely right, it’s not.  BUT, when you deliberately make that type of content and place it in distribution including the internet for all to see well, you have made it everyone business and will get commentary like this so deal with it!   And that’s my little red wagon and I’ll be the one pulling it!  Until next time lovelies…

Peace and blessings,

Phaedra


 

SPILLING TEA…The New Gossip

 

You can’t go anywhere or watch any type of reality show without hearing the phrase “Spill the Tea”.  In fact, the reality shows we watch today (yes, I watch reality shows) are built on the premise of spilling the tea.  Spill the Tea simply means to “gossip”. Everyone has spilled some.  At times, I have been guilty of it myself.  I thought about the circumstances in which I found myself spilling tea, and I also thought about what I needed to do to stop it:

Girlfriend Tea
Danger, danger, danger…because tea is being spilled all over the place!  Whether it is two individuals or in a group, women have a tendency to tell each other about their lives AND the lives of others.  When I am with girlfriends, I realize that if I am not careful, I would be putting my two cents in on something that has absolutely has nothing to do with me and mines.  Consider this so as not to feed into the fury of talking about others.

1.       Take the high road – let your comments begin and end on positive note.

2.       Shut Up – say nothing; let others say what they want.  In time, they will see that you are not partaking in the conversation and the conversation will soon change.

3.       Tell them about it – simply be bold enough to say “we are getting ready to talk about something we know nothing about so let’s just nip it right now”.

Water Cooler Tea
Coworkers can be viewed as extended family members.  Think about it, we see them almost every day and in addition to working together they partake in celebrating the milestone in our lives such as birthdays, births, and promotions.  Coworkers grieve and sympathize with us during bad times such as in the times of sickness and even death.  Believe it or not, coworkers share our lives one way or another.

Water cooler tea is the worst type of tea because  information received usually does not come directly from the source.  It has been passed around the office by several individuals and by the time it gets to you it’s only a version of the truth. STAY CLEAR of water cooler tea!  Do not participate in it, it often leads to bad reputations and strained employee relationships.  It could also hinder promotion within the company.

Family Tea
 There is nothing like hearing all the latest news about the family.  Every family has a particular family member who knows everything about anyone in the family.  Most times, this person has good intentions and has the family’s best interest at heart.  If through the spilling of tea you find that a family member is in trouble, do what you can to offer assistance in the matter and if this is done, let it be in confidence.  Don’t feed into spilling of family tea.

Our relationships with family, friends and coworkers are some bonds that we want to make sure remain healthy.  Our conversations should be up lifting, positive and encouraging, and should anyone tell us anything in confidence we should honor them by keeping the conversation private.  So the next time you are tempted to spill the tea, ask yourself “would I like it if someone was talking about me like that?” When you look at it like that “spilling the tea” is a big mess you would want to avoid.

Peace and blessings,

Phaedra

 

Wudda, Cudda, Shudda!

If you are thinking to yourself that by now you should have done this, or could have done that, you are defeating yourself!  Thinking about the past does not move you forward.  But yet, some think this phrase is motivating.  This thought is one of the reasons why you haven’t gotten any further than you are right now.

Says Who?

You say “you should be further along than this”, and I say…”Who says?”  If the opportunity, position, spouse, relationship, or family was handed to you right now, what would you do?  Do you know?  All I am saying is this, saying that we should be at a certain point in our life just because we are at a certain age or in a certain career does not mean that we would have known how to handle it.  What do you have in place that has prepared you for the transition? 

·         When you get the position, along with the new and challenging projects, are you ready for new team members?  What behaviors would you leave behind or take to your new team?

·         When you get that full-time committed relationship, are you willing to make unselfish sacrifices without complaining? Are you really ready for someone to occupy your space on a full-time basis?

·         When you become parent, are you ready to unselfishly give up your lifestyle as you know it and embrace all that comes with parenthood?

Want vs. Purpose

There is always a void in your life when your wants are not aligned with your purpose.  Before saying where you think that you should be first, figure out your purpose in life.  Finding your purpose is a time consuming journey. Not everyone can be president, but everyone can contribute to the world in one way or another.  As you find your purpose in the world you also begin to walk into what has been destined for you to obtain and grow to.  Find your purpose…find your life.

Your Thoughts Govern Your Actions

Being mindful of how our thoughts are manifested in by words, we would be careful with our thinking.  If you are always staying to yourself and others “I know that I should be further along than this”, you are actually complaining and doubting the place where you are right now.  Be grateful for where you are at the moment and plan your next move with purpose and not desperation. How you phrase your words makes all the difference in the world.

A defeated mentality gets you nothing but defeat, so stop living in the past and leave the wudda, cudda and shudda behind.

Peace and Blessings,

Phaedra