What Do They Really Want…5 Signs of “Bad Intentions” in a Relationship

When it comes to relationships, a person’s intentions are rarely known at the onset. We all have intentions, and you can best believe that when someone approaches you, they have them too.  The key to intentions is the ability to honest with ourselves about why we introduce, approach, invite and attach ourselves to certain people, and why people in turn introduce, approach,  and attach to us.

We get “jaded” by the idea of love, and fail to acknowledge the signs we saw in that person at the very beginning.  He doesn’t have a car…who do you think is going to drive you to places you want to go?  He doesn’t have a job…who do you think is going to pay for dinner?  He doesn’t have his own place…where are you going to go to spend a relaxing evening together?  I mean it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that this person is not taking care of themselves, how can they be of benefit to you?  It doesn’t even have to be on a financial level.  It can be emotional as well.  Here are  signs that the person you are dealing with has intentions that are not beneficial to your overall well-being.

They Stop Spending Time with You

PEOPLE MAKE TIME FOR THE THINGS THAT THEY REALLY WANT.  If the time he/she spends with you  has diminished, or is diminishing, so is your “so-called” relationship.

They Expect Everything, but Give Little or Nothing

Loving couples do not want to see their partner tired, stressed and worn out.  That’s just not right!
Excluding a debilitating disability, if you are taking care of the household by yourself, and the other party is capable of working , and the income they could bring in, no matter the amount will be beneficial, someone’s intentions is this relationship is not quite right. 

Their Past is Not Really in the Past
Everyone deserves a second chance for a good life, so don’t hold a person’s past against them.  We grow and we change.  But if the person you are in a relationship with is exhibiting the same behavior he/she told you about in their past and they are doing all the things mentioned above, you can best believe their past is their present, and their intentions towards you are not to your benefit.

Words Hurt…No Words Hurt Even More

In the beginning there were love notes or “I love you” texts, and now, if you are not arguing and bickering there is the silent treatment.  Nothing significant in the relationship has changed or so you thought; but the two of you seem to be arguing over the same old issues.  May be the thing you wanted him/her to do never gets done, maybe the intention all along was for you to do it. 

Too Much Too Soon

If this is you, then YOU need an intention “reality check”.  This type of behavior is not beneficial to you.  You need to examine why you feel the need to give so much, so soon, and expect so little in return.  In your mind, what did you think that you are getting from pursuing this kind of relationship?  Our bodies give off energies that attract certain people, examine what energy you are putting out to attract this type of person over and over again.  One of my male mentors always told me, he said “the one thing a bad man can spot, is a good woman”.  Change your energy, and change who you attract to our life. 

No one walks this earth alone.  We all need people in our lives for companionship and friendship.  Make sure that the people in your circle are the types of people that adds value to your life.  It’s as simple as that.

Until next time my lovelies…

Peace & blessings,
Phaedra


 

Building Our Brand, Sisterly Love…The Tie that Binds

Celebrity Manicurists
Sabrina Brie’ Rowe and Sharlinda Rowe- Parker

When Atlanta's celebrity clothing designer Dia Bocage, of Dia Bocage Custom Fashions invited me (Atlanta Real Living) to her 2014 Fall/Winter photo shoot last week, I was extremely excited.  What could better than hair, makeup and fashion?  I asked Dia about the models for the shoot, and she told me that celebrity manicurists Sabrina Brie’ Rowe and Sharlinda Rowe-Parker and daughter Khadjiah Rowe would be the feature models in this shoot. 

Born in Richmond VA, these identical twin sisters are not only the owners of the upscale Tu La 2 Nail Salon & Company in Buckhead,  Georgia, they are also reality TV celebrities (Big Rich Atlanta), and Sharlinda is married to the Grammy awarding winning singer/songwriter “Q” Parker from the Multi- platinum Group 112.  I had never met the power house duo before and I must say that I was curious.

As Ariah and I entered the room, we were met with lots of chatter.  Pennae Salon and Crystal Cooper masters of their craft in hair and makeup each had their corner of creativity.  They were serious with their work but the mood was light.  At first I didn’t recognize the twins, they had cut their hair.  Sharlinda was getting made up for the shoot, so I began the conversation with her sister Brie’.

ARL:  There are a lot of women who do not have strong relationships with their sisters, what is it like for you to have this type of relationship with your sister?

Tu La 2:  We are actually identical twins, 5 minutes apart, and after 43 years together, you don’t know anything different.  I can’t imagine myself without my best friend, partner, and the person that I can count on to do anything with. 

 ARL:  How did the migration to Atlanta begin?

 Tu La 2:  I came to Atlanta first for a hair show.  By that time we had already established our business in Virginia.  And while here I fell in love with the city and the idea that African-Americans were really doing their thing. 
After my return, one of our friends passed away.  She was a twin as well.  It was a funeral both my sister and I felt.  It was like looking in a mirror, the grief of the family…that could be our family, looking at that other part of you lying in a casket, that really touched us and I had my “Ah-Ha” moment.  We knew that this was something we had to do.  The separation was intentional, and inside four months I had moved to Atlanta.  Sharlinda came two years later. But we never lost touch with each other.  If I wasn’t home in Virginia on the weekends, my sister was here in Atlanta, and of course during the times we were separated from each other, we talked on the telephone everyday… all day.






"Our focus is on professionalism"

ARL:  The name of your establishment is unique, how did you come up with the name?

Tu La 2:  It’s a bounce back to us being twins, but not in a common way like “Twins”, or ”The Two of Us”.  We played around with the name a lot and decided on Tu La 2.  We have been in the nail business for over 20 years, and we’ve owned and operated our business here in Atlanta for 12 years.

ARL:  Just keeping it real, before I decided to wear my natural nails, I never went to an African-American manicurist, I always went to manicurist from other cultures.

Tu La 2:  First, let me start by saying that there are a lot of good, professional African-American manicurists out here.  The main reason why the African-American manicurist corner of the market slipped is because of the number of shops on every corner and costs for services.  They have cut the cost of services by half.  So many people are quick to go to other shops to get services for half the price.  But at the end of the day, one should always keep in mind that cleanliness and keeping up with sanitation codes within the shop is more important than the cost of services.
ARL:  I definitely agree, cost and funding for a business appears to be more readily available to other cultures.

 ARL:  So, what separates your brand from the others in this industry?

Tu La 2:  Our clientele is different in that we focus on professionalism and the healthy treatment of nails.  Yes, in the past, we’ve provided services that included 3D art, and designs, but that is not our signature.  We also maintain our focus on healthy, clean treatment of the nails by being an “Eco friendly” salon. We are a “green” company in that we no longer apply acrylic to nails.  There are so many options that some people just don’t know about.

ARL:  What’s next for Tu La 2 Nail Salon & Company?

Tu La 2:  My sister is finishing up her courses to obtain her instructors license because we are preparing to open a nail school here in Atlanta.
ARL:  Indeed, I expect to see even greater advances to your brand in the near future.



"Generations"
Sabrina Brie’ Rowe and Sharlinda Rowe-Parker
and daughter Khadjiah Rowe

The twin’s commitment to family and building and branding their company reaches far beyond themselves.  I had the pleasure to meet and speak with Sharlina’s daughter Khadjiah.  Immediately, you can tell that she has been under the guidance of a strong family presence.  She is approachable, well-spoken, humbly ambitious, and educated well beyond her 28 years of life.  As a parent, I know that this is something that is taught, and she is a good student.  Be on the lookout for her entrepreneurial endeavors in the near future.

 To have a sister that has your back, no matter the circumstance is indeed a blessing.  I have one myself.  And although we are not twins, our connection and commitment to one another is greater than all the riches in the world.  I can relate to these two women of vision, for they embodie what we all want in life…love, on all levels, purpose and most of all family.

Until next time my lovelies…

Peace and blessings

Phaedra

Special "Thanks" to Dia Bocage of Dia Bocage Custom Fashions for this interview.