Duh, yeah, because over the course of 4 to 6 weeks, this guy doesn’t
change his routine with you. He’s
calling, the two of you are going out, sharing meals together, he knows where
you live and more importantly you know where he lives. You’ve spent nights at his house for god
sakes! And then suddenly, as quickly as
this started, it abruptly comes to a screeching halt!
He may give you the courtesy of providing you with the lame excuse that
he didn’t like something you had said weeks before and he needs time to wrap
his head around the situation so give him a few days to deal with it, or his
sorry behind just stops calling. This is
what I like to refer to as “radio silence”.
I got this phrase from watching old war movies when crewmen on a
submarine, in an effort to not be detected by its enemies, has to dive deep and cut off all
communication. Head Quarters can’t even locate them. Yeah, that’s what he is giving you right now
and this leaves you, vexed, confused…down right pissed, because for you this
came right out of the blue and blindsided you. Or did it?
So now your emotions are flipping back and forth from being mad and
trying to figure out just what the hell happened. I’ll tell you what happened, he STOPPED
CALLING, and you need, must, nay are required to deal with it! By now, your friends (guys and girls) are
telling what to and what not to do and you just don’t seem to know what advice
to take. Well add me to your list
because I’m going to give you and ear full.
Wanna hear it, here is goes.
YOU’VE KNOW EACH OTHER FOR A
SHORT TIME, IT CAN’T BE LOVE
Heck no it’s not love, but it was a connection. Energy flows between people. The issue now becomes clear that for him, it
was only a temporary connection, way different from what you were thinking it
would possibly grow into. It’s about
respect and in this case, lack thereof.
No one wants to have feelings of disrespect and abandonment. Whether he is willing to admit it or not, a
situation like this is exactly that…disrespectful.
THERE ARE A MILLION AND ONE
REASONS WHY HE DID THIS…
And you do not have the time or the resources to try to figure it
out. He knows why and he chose not to
tell you. It is not up to you to figure it out. Chances are that you will learn
a heck of a lot more about your behavior in this situation than you know about
his behavior.
UPON INITIAL CONTACT…DON’T EXPECT
THE TRUTH
Trust that anyone who does you that dirty is not going to reveal the
truth just because you are blowing up his telephone with calls and texts. In fact,
HE will become annoyed every time he sees your number pop up on his phone. His mind is made up and there is nothing you
can do about it. Believe me, when karma
comes around, and trust me, it will come around, he may have the guts to pick
up the phone and give you a call.
Hopefully you will be in headspace where it really doesn’t matter to you
any longer. You have to start processing
the fact that you will be just fine. Who
wants to be treated like that anyway? But
instead start thinking about how to get this joker off your mind and out of
your thoughts. Which leads me to my next
point…
STOP BLOWING UP HIS TELEPHONE!
Women need closure. But often we
believe that this closure will come from the man. Nope, not so.
Often times, as in this case closure has to come from you. I took the
time to ask some men what a woman should do when faced with this situation and
the first thing they said was “leave him alone, he will call when he is
ready”. Well, “Ain’t nobody got time for
that”! I’m not saying that you shouldn’t
reach out to him; I’m saying that when you do it must come from a place of true
calm and respect for self. I’m saying
that call or text should be your one and final communication.
At his point, it is no longer about him, it’s about you and the manner
in which you communicate this determines whether or not it stays off. There is nothing wrong with you expressing
your feelings in a respectful manner.
When he reads it, it may not register with him right off…but believe me
at some point and time it will register.
Just make sure that you are a LADY at all times.
GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO PROCESS THE
SITUATION
You know the saying, the only way to get over an “old boo” is with a
new one. This can be wrong on so many
levels. Chances are, the energy that you
are putting out often will attract you to the same sort of person you are
trying to disconnect from. Take some
time to process this situation, ALLOW YOURSELF TO THINK, NOT OVER THINK
IT. So many times we hold on to
something too long because we tell ourselves not to think about it and we feel
guilty when we do. Freely admit to
yourself your feelings, only then will you be able to let it go.
Well, my lovelies, as you can see by the length of this article there
is a lot to be said on this topic. It’s
hard to believe that this is still happening in 2014! That is why there will be a Part 2, hell; it
may even be a series! Needless to say,
you were a beautiful, talented and gifted person before you met him and you
will be a beautiful, talented and gifted person long after he is gone, so why
let this hinder you from moving on? Don’t…IJS. Until next time my lovelies…
Peace and blessings
Phaedra