Welcome to Living in Atlanta: The Beautiful One, Unapologetically…Remembering Pr...: I heard the news this afternoon and just like everyone else around the world was shocked, saddened and dismayed. Now, I never write...
Thursday, April 21, 2016
The Beautiful One, Unapologetically…Remembering Prince
I heard the news this afternoon and just like everyone else around the
world was shocked, saddened and dismayed.
Now, I never write about story the day that it breaks, don’t know I just
don’t. But today, it was the only that I
could thing about. Like so many others, Prince’s
death is affecting me and I didn’t know why.
Yes, I have his records, seen his movies, been to his concerts, seen
interviews but I have never met him personally or even came close to it. Why does this mean so much to me??
Maybe it is because like me, he was born under the Twin sign
Gemini. You know the sign that everyone
loves to hate because people think that we are moody. We are not moody, we just feel things and it
is that which takes over us. The sign that is highly communicative, creative
and artistic…naturally. The sign that
says what they want when they desire to so, but prefer to live their lives in
secret. No need for fanfare, no need to
be the life of the party or to live our lives out in front, we carry that in us
and validation from those we love is
most important. Respect the art, creativeness and talent that is all.
Maybe it is because Prince Roger Nelson was unapologetically himself. Small in stature but larger than life in confidence
and talent; from the hair, to the heels to the “eyes” he was what saw and what
you didn’t see at the same time. When
you looked at him, (when you were allowed to) you couldn’t quite figure out
what he was thinking, you only knew what he thought when sang. Sensual, sexy and quite “freakish” he brought
that side out of every human and made it okay to say yes to sensuality.
Maybe it was his ability to find his truth in his religious beliefs and
turn his life in that direction. He was not the man he used to be. Unapologetic, he took the time to know
and look at the bible in a clean simple way and just to see God, Jehovah, Yahweh
for who he is without religious dogma. I
understand and respect that.
But mainly, I feel a kinship due to the fact that he loved his culture
following no one’s rule (he never voted) but instead chose the symbol of love,
the most important possession anyone can have.
At age 57, he left this earth way too soon. And as my friend said "May Yahweh bless his spirit because his soul has died with his flesh".
My favorite Prince song is “The Beautiful Ones” –“I may not know where I’m going
baby, I may not know what I need. But
one thing, one thing is for certain baby I know what I want, and if it please you baby, please you baby, I’m begging
down on my knees. I want you” –makes
me cry every time I hear it.
Until next time my lovelies, remember… there’s only love.
Peace and Blessings,
Phaedra
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
Welcome to Living in Atlanta: The Purist Love
Welcome to Living in Atlanta: The Purist Love: I’m not a relationship expert, never claim to be. But I have seen and have experienced a few things in my lifetime. I’ve been in ...
The Purist Love
I’m not a relationship expert, never claim to be. But I have seen and have experienced a few
things in my lifetime. I’ve been in love
and fallen out of it. I have enjoyed the
company of some great men who opened my eyes to life, I’ve been both the
student and the teacher, and I am truly grateful for that.
At this stage in my life I am still learning about relationships and
love but in a different way. It’s kinda curious
experiencing these feelings; it’s like a deja vu, only choosing to take different
routes than the ones taken before. This
one I must say is teaching me the most.
When I say the purist love, it is not said with naive school girl
innocence, filled with colorful butterflies and unicorns. While chemistry is a factor in pure love, pure
love takes courage, it takes compromise and it takes the willingness to be “all
in”. It takes speaking up without lashing out.
It is not selfish or
self-centered, and at times, it may not seem fair. That is why it is so important not to waste
time, your or anyone else’s. If the
person that you meet possesses a quality, characteristic or situation that you
know you don’t want, then it is best not to pursue it, because in the end you
will only end up breaking hearts and creating ill will. The fact of the matter is that love for one
another, even in a non relationship form, for all intent and purposes is not
meant to harm. It is meant for good.
I’ve had the pleasure of being around couples in love. Some have been married for decades while
others only a matter of months. They are
happy and at peace with themselves and I had often wondered how they got to
that point, better still what does it take to maintain it? There are valuable keys to a relationship
below are just a few I’ve witnessed.
Building a Solid Foundation
Everything starts with a foundation, the stronger the foundation, the
stronger the relationship, the shakier the foundation…well you know the
rest. There must be some common core
values that the two of you share. Views
on family, morals, ethics, and beliefs and let’s not forget finances. A strong foundation makes it possible to
reasonably and respectfully talk about issues that arise, because at the end of
the day the pillar of your foundation is a mutual respect for each other. Anything
built on sand will not last.
Understanding Each Other’s Wants
and Needs
He wants a house on the hill, while you want a cozy little cabin just
for two. While he is striving to get the
house on the hill, you could care less.
The more time he spends acquiring that, the further and further the two
of you are drifting apart. There is
nothing wrong with his wants and you may want to ask yourself a few questions. Do I understand what it will take for him to
achieve his goal? Do I believe in his
vision even if it is not a priority on my list?
Am I doing my part in support him/her while their dreams are being
pursued? While this illustration is
geared more towards the material, it can be applied to anything, material,
spiritual, physical. At the end of the day,
when two are working towards becoming one a balanced view of individuality is
essential.
It’s hard Out ‘Chea (Here)
Yep, I said out ‘chea (here). It’s crazy when you think about what you face
on a day-to-day bases and when you are in a relationship the craziness doubles. So it is important to know the person in your
life is in the trenches with you, you are not doing this alone and that you are
not taking the lead. It is a joint effort in which both of you have the same
desired outcomes…success in love, family and life together.
Real talk my lovelies is that the journey to the purist love is going
to take heart and blind faith and to be honest can be quite scary. It is attainable and I for one my loves am
willing to take the plunge.
Until next time my lovelies…there
is only love.
Peace and blessings,
Phaedra
Friday, April 15, 2016
Welcome to Living in Atlanta: Lupus Awareness: What You Don’t Know About Lupus
Welcome to Living in Atlanta: Lupus Awareness: What You Don’t Know About Lupus: “But you don’t look sick” are words uttered by friends and family members who learn that a loved one has been diagnosed with lupus. But...
Lupus Awareness: What You Don’t Know About Lupus
“But you don’t look sick” are
words uttered by friends and family members who learn that a loved one has been
diagnosed with lupus. But in fact, lupus is a physically challenging and life-threatening
disease, and until lately, lupus patients suffer in silence due to the lack
of the lack of awareness of the disease,
the lack of knowledge of the disease, and the lack of funds for research and
development for more FDA approved medications. Often misdiagnosed,
it can take as long as 3 to 4 years before an individual can be diagnosed
correctly. The lack of awareness of the disease, and not knowing the symptoms can
significantly hinder an individual from being diagnosed in a timely manner.
So what is lupus and how can we raise awareness about this disease? I sat down with Maria Myler, Georgia Chapter
President and CEO to get a better understanding of lupus and the current mission
and goals for the Georgia Chapter of the Lupus Foundation.
Phaedra: I’ve had family members who suffer with lupus and some have died from
it, but I never understood the disease…What is Lupus?
Maria: “Lupus
is an autoimmune disease that can attack any part of the body. It is where the immune system is unable to
determine between the good and the bad within the immune system. With lupus, the body cannot tell the
difference between the foreign invaders such as bacteria and viruses and the
healthy tissue within a person’s body and creates auto antibodies that attack
and destroy the healthy tissue. It affects mostly young minority women ages
18-45. Men and children of all ages are affected
as well”.
Phaedra: Many people think that the swelling of joints and skin rashes are the
only side effects of lupus…what are there other types of lupus?
Maria: There are 2 types of
lupus. Cutaneous Lupus Erythematosus
which is lupus of the skin which causes rashes or sores (lesions), most
of which will appear on sun-exposed areas such as the face, ears, neck, arms
and legs. Individuals with this type of
lupus find that their disease worsens with exposure to ultraviolet (UV) rays from
sunlight or artificial light. The more chronic type of lupus is called Systemic Lupus Erythematosus or (SLE)
and this where within the immune system, the body attacks itself affecting
vital organs of the body such as the skin lungs, nervous system, heart, lungs
and the kidneys. More than 50% of
lupus patients have kidney involvement, which results in dialysis and or kidney
transplants. With both types of lupus, patients experience extreme fatigue hair
loss and fevers.
Phaedra: What do
you find most challenging for individuals who have lupus?
Maria: I
feel that most lupus patients have the feeling that they are alone in this
fight. Also the unpredictability of the disease, the life diminishing and life
threatening effects of the disease, patients face physical and emotional
challenges every day. With lupus, every
day is different, every patient is different, and each reaction to the
medications is different.
Phaedra: For the individuals in the
work-force, how does lupus affect them on a day-to-day basis?
Maria: For the patients who are able
to sustain employment in the work-force, their symptoms can be managed through
medication, but they continue to face the physical and emotional constraints of
having the disease. They struggle with extreme fatigue, and fevers, changes in
their appearance due to hair loss, and swelling of the joints makes it
difficult to face the work day. For
those suffering with organ involvement, permanent disability is their only
option.
Phaedra: What are the medications being
prescribed for lupus patients?
Maria: There are only 2 FDA approved
medications for lupus patients, so raising awareness and funding for more
research is vital in this fight.
Currently there are 16 drugs in the pharmaceutical pipeline awaiting
approval and the next 5 to 10 years will bring about significant changes for
all patients with lupus.
Phaedra: How does the organization raise
awareness for lupus?
Maria: Our main fundraiser for the
organization is the “Walk to End Lupus
Now” campaign in which the state Georgia holds the largest attendance
record. By participating in the walk
patients have the opportunity to tell their stories which in turn reaches
donors who help in the fight financially.
Support groups, symposiums and the support of state lobbyists are also
tools used to raise awareness and funds for the organization as well.
Phaedra: What are the 2014 Goals for the
Georgia Chapter?
Maria: We want to build the corporate teams and get support from our
corporations here in Georgia. There are
some major corporations like Georgia Power and AT&T who have set up
headquarters in the state and having them participate as champions to this
cause would greatly increase awareness of lupus and produce major financing for
research and developments of safe FDA approved drugs for lupus patients.
Lack of awareness and support can
be just as detrimental as the disease itself.
Advocates of lupus, lupus patients and their friends and families are
working diligently to change all of that but, they need your help. For more information on The Lupus Foundation
or to contact your local chapter, please visit www.lupus.org.
Peace and blessings,
Phaedra
Lupus Awareness: What You Don’t Know About Lupus
“But you don’t look sick” are
words uttered by friends and family members who learn that a loved one has been
diagnosed with lupus. But in fact, lupus is a physically challenging and life-threatening
disease, and until lately, lupus patients suffer in silence due to the lack
of the lack of awareness of the disease,
the lack of knowledge of the disease, and the lack of funds for research and
development for more FDA approved medications. Often misdiagnosed,
it can take as long as 3 to 4 years before an individual can be diagnosed
correctly. The lack of awareness of the disease, and not knowing the symptoms can
significantly hinder an individual from being diagnosed in a timely manner.
So what is lupus and how can we raise awareness about this disease? I sat down with Maria Myler, Georgia Chapter
President and CEO to get a better understanding of lupus and the current mission
and goals for the Georgia Chapter of the Lupus Foundation.
Phaedra: I’ve had family members who suffer with lupus and some have died from
it, but I never understood the disease…What is Lupus?
Maria: “Lupus
is an autoimmune disease that can attack any part of the body. It is where the immune system is unable to
determine between the good and the bad within the immune system. With lupus, the body cannot tell the
difference between the foreign invaders such as bacteria and viruses and the
healthy tissue within a person’s body and creates auto antibodies that attack
and destroy the healthy tissue. It affects mostly young minority women ages
18-45. Men and children of all ages are affected
as well”.
Phaedra: Many people think that the swelling of joints and skin rashes are the
only side effects of lupus…what are there other types of lupus?
Maria: There are 2 types of
lupus. Cutaneous Lupus Erythematosus
which is lupus of the skin which causes rashes or sores (lesions), most
of which will appear on sun-exposed areas such as the face, ears, neck, arms
and legs. Individuals with this type of
lupus find that their disease worsens with exposure to ultraviolet (UV) rays from
sunlight or artificial light. The more chronic type of lupus is called Systemic Lupus Erythematosus or (SLE)
and this where within the immune system, the body attacks itself affecting
vital organs of the body such as the skin lungs, nervous system, heart, lungs
and the kidneys. More than 50% of
lupus patients have kidney involvement, which results in dialysis and or kidney
transplants. With both types of lupus, patients experience extreme fatigue hair
loss and fevers.
Phaedra: What do
you find most challenging for individuals who have lupus?
Maria: I
feel that most lupus patients have the feeling that they are alone in this
fight. Also the unpredictability of the disease, the life diminishing and life
threatening effects of the disease, patients face physical and emotional
challenges every day. With lupus, every
day is different, every patient is different, and each reaction to the
medications is different.
Phaedra: For the individuals in the
work-force, how does lupus affect them on a day-to-day basis?
Maria: For the patients who are able
to sustain employment in the work-force, their symptoms can be managed through
medication, but they continue to face the physical and emotional constraints of
having the disease. They struggle with extreme fatigue, and fevers, changes in
their appearance due to hair loss, and swelling of the joints makes it
difficult to face the work day. For
those suffering with organ involvement, permanent disability is their only
option.
Phaedra: What are the medications being
prescribed for lupus patients?
Maria: There are only 2 FDA approved
medications for lupus patients, so raising awareness and funding for more
research is vital in this fight.
Currently there are 16 drugs in the pharmaceutical pipeline awaiting
approval and the next 5 to 10 years will bring about significant changes for
all patients with lupus.
Phaedra: How does the organization raise
awareness for lupus?
Maria: Our main fundraiser for the
organization is the “Walk to End Lupus
Now” campaign in which the state Georgia holds the largest attendance
record. By participating in the walk
patients have the opportunity to tell their stories which in turn reaches
donors who help in the fight financially.
Support groups, symposiums and the support of state lobbyists are also
tools used to raise awareness and funds for the organization as well.
Phaedra: What are the 2014 Goals for the
Georgia Chapter?
Maria: We want to build the corporate teams and get support from our
corporations here in Georgia. There are
some major corporations like Georgia Power and AT&T who have set up
headquarters in the state and having them participate as champions to this
cause would greatly increase awareness of lupus and produce major financing for
research and developments of safe FDA approved drugs for lupus patients.
Lack of awareness and support can
be just as detrimental as the disease itself.
Advocates of lupus, lupus patients and their friends and families are
working diligently to change all of that but, they need your help. For more information on The Lupus Foundation
or to contact your local chapter, please visit www.lupus.org.
Peace and blessings,
Phaedra
Saturday, April 9, 2016
Welcome to Living in Atlanta: In Relationships: Why Do We Self-Sabotage?
Welcome to Living in Atlanta: In Relationships: Why Do We Self-Sabotage?: You meet a guy and right away you are attracted to him. He’s handsome, knowledgeable, and worldly and has a wicked sense of humor. ...
In Relationships: Why Do We Self-Sabotage?
You meet a guy and right away you are attracted to him. He’s handsome, knowledgeable, and worldly and
has a wicked sense of humor. He makes
you smile. The first few months are the
“get to know you” stage. He is an open
book, transparent even. He knows that if
he says too much you will run away and if he says too little you will still
run, so he provides you with the perfect balance of the good, bad and ugly with
truth being at its core. In this
imperfect world, he appears perfect; meanwhile, you are waiting for the other
shoe to drop. Does this sound familiar?
This article focuses on the ways in which we sabotage an otherwise good
relationship, and often times when we realize it it’s too late. So what’s a
girl to do to side-step the trap of self-sabotage and what are the ways we can
sabotage a relationship?
TRYING TO LIVE THE PERFECT LIE
In the single girl’s world we dream of the perfect man. Sounds good right? But reality is there is no
such thing as a perfect man. It’s a
myth, urban legend, hell, it’s a lie.
But still that is what we think we will find when we find love. So when this attractive, worldly, wickedly
funny man enters your life, you instantly attach the myth of perfection to him. If a man has told you the bad and ugly of his
past, the question now becomes in the immortal words of Colonel Nathan Jessep,
in the movie A Few Good Men…Can You
Handle the Truth?! Instead will you choose to apply the past into your
future together? This is the foundation
of self-sabotage. Although he may be a good man…he is not a perfect one. He will make mistakes and sometimes even
disappoint, but you have to talk about it, not accuse, because communication is
key.
More importantly you will see that as time goes on, he is not the total
package, he’s human. If in the beginning
you can see his core, if he constantly possesses the qualities essential to
build a strong union together, then that is what you work with, because you
cannot mold clay from steel. There is no
such thing as a ready-made man, or woman.
Fear and Ego: The Dangerous Duo
Everyone has a past. You have
one don’t you? Then what makes you think
that he doesn’t and better yet, what makes you think that when he says “that’s
in the past” he lying? If your past is
behind you…then why can’t his be behind him?
Fear of someone creeping back into position is possible with your
thoughts and constant talk about his past ways often brings them into your
situation. Everything dream or problem
starts with a thought. The power of the manifestation
is real!
Fear produces nothing good and feeds that little monster called the
ego. Instead of thinking about what
happened in his past, concentrate on his behavior and treatment of you. Remember the bad and ugly mention in the
beginning of this article; do you see any traces of that in your relationship? This is a good indicator to help you see the
man he is with you, and not the man he has told you about in his past. If you see traces of his former bad behavior,
you know my motto “cut ties and move on”.
If not, continue on your journey together making a new start and new
memories. To be honest, there will be
some traces of his past that will be in your future mainly due to the fact that
he may have a child or children from a previous relationship. This you cannot deny. But it is the way in which he handles this
part of his past that will quiet your fear and tame your ego. You had nothing to do with his past and fear
and ego places it directly into the pathway your future.
Insecurity
This topic, my lovelies has nothing to do with him, but EVERYTHING to
do with you. An insecure person is not
fit to be in any type of relationship as their insecurity will surely cause it
to fail. If you are an insecure person it is you who are living in the past,
not him. YOU are the one drawing on past
experiences and applying it in your current situation when there is no real
evidence for it. Insecurity feeds into
fear and ego; the three go hand-in-hand.
Know that being in love and in relationship with your mate consist of
hard work, patience, self-less-ness and most of all vulnerability. An insecure
person cannot be all four. Being open and vulnerable is one of the strongest
traits that you can possess, and I want you to possess it. Self-assurance causes you to know the
difference between patterns of bad behavior and self-sabotage. Self-assurance, if warranted, allows you to
move on from those old patterns and opens your heart for the “real thing”.
Not every apple on the tree will be a good apple. I say, let it fall to
the ground and reach higher for the deep red, juicy, delicious one. It’s there…we just have to keep on picking.
Until next time my lovelies, remember…there’s only love.
Peace & blessings
Phaedra
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