There is Always Room for Love

You are never too old to learn something new.  My grandson Elijah turns two years old today.  Of course, it is a big deal to our family but you may be wondering to yourself “what does this have to do with me?”  Well, there is a lesson for all in this brief story.  This lesson will resonate with each of you, without you knowing this little boy.  Just take a few moments and read.

Elijah's conception was a surprise (well, at least for me it was).  You see my daughter was in a relationship with a young male that well, I thought was not good for her.  And, to be honest, I didn’t like him.  But this story is not about them, this story is about who came from them.  Already having a precious granddaughter, I thought that my immediate family was complete. My daughter could go back to school, find part-time work and get her life back on track.  All this was put on hold with the news of a 2^nd pregnancy.  From my perspective, as the only person working a full-time job in the home, I would be placed under more financial strain, more food to buy, more clothes to buy, additional daycare, transportation, and the list goes on and on.   Not to mention the mental and emotional strain of having a male that I did not like, and who I believed did not treat my daughter as he should as a permanent fixture in our lives. And while I never believed that I would not love this unborn child; I did not know that my love for him would be like this.

In every way, bringing this child into the world was hard, emotionally, financially and physically.  Erin worked more than her share of 17 hour day at a nearby Waffle House just to bring in some money to cover some of her and Ariah’s expenses, and to prepare for his birth.  I was working a contract job at the time and worked extra hours at night and on weekends just to buy the necessary items one need’s when having a new child.  We didn’t expect anything from anyone else figuring if they did come through, it would be an extra blessing.  Then one day on her regular doctor’s visits, the doctor told Erin that the baby was losing weight inside her womb and that she would have to deliver him immediately!  I was at work when her call came in and had to leave straight away and take Ariah to her father’s house which was an hour and a half away.  I did not know if I could make the trip and get back in time for his birth, so I called two of my girlfriends to be there with Erin just in case.  I thank them to this day for their covering.  My only thoughts at that point were to get my granddaughter to her destination safely and that if Erin had the baby before I arrived, that they were in good health. Elijah’s father and his family were contacted as well.  I made it in time for the birth and although he was underweight, mother and baby were fine.

Now, here is how my experience may connect with you.  This experience has taught me the power and benefits from love and forgiveness.  Elijah has taught me that through him, I am able to see a different part of his father, the part that loves and cares for him and seeing this part of him, I am able to forgive him of our past incidents.  Until this day, I never thought that I could forgive, but this forgiveness is not for him… because it frees me.  It frees me to give and to get the love both Elijah and I deserve. 

Through Elijah I am reminded of how much I love my own sister.  The love that little boy has for his older sister is sweet, innocent and protective.  I am thankful that they have each other to lean on in this crazy world, as I have through the years leaned on my sister for love and support. 

But most of all, Elijah has taught me that I am still capable of experiencing “abundant love”, “in spite of love” and” because of love”.  He has taught me that one does not have to s-t-r-e-t-c-h to let someone into your life, and that if you open your heart just a little, it comes naturally. Both he and his sister teach me daily to show love to people even if I do not know them.  How freeing and wonderful this is!

So “thank you” Elijah, your presence in this world is changing the way your Mimi sees the world, and is also capable once again to experience the awesome power of love and gratitude.  Happy Birthday and...

Peace and blessings,

Phaedra


 

Old School Mardi Gras Christmas Party!

Atlanta is fast becoming a city of glitz and glamour.  And sometimes this glitz and glamour can be seen in even the simplest occasions.  In some parts of Atlanta, you may be invited to a BBQ and when you get there tables with linen table cloths are set up, and there is a wine bar, and a pit master who is more often than not, a caterer hired to prepare the food instead of the owner of the home behind the grill.  A pit master…really?  And who eats ribs on linen table cloths?  Ask yourself, when was the last time that you went to a genuine, old fashioned, old school party?  This past weekend, “Living in Atlanta” traveled to Lawrenceville, Georgia to attend a “Mardi Gras Christmas” party.

There are key elements to an old school party:

1.       Location – Someone’s home
2.       Attire – Come as you are – there is no dress code
3.       Food – is there and plenty of it!
4.       Drink – every type of liquor/beer from the rooter to the tooter on the make-shift bar
5.       Music – a DJ and he/she has any song you can ever think of from blues – current day
6.       Children – they are there, but they are NEVER seen, but well taken care of
7.       Dancing – one person may be on the floor one minute, and 50 people the next,
       depending on the song.  And there is always a song for the “wobble” or “cha-cha slide”

But the most important element to an old school party, are the old school people.  Grown folks who know how to get along and have fun.  Such was the case Saturday night at the Mardi Gras party I attended.  When I walked through the door with my friend Yvonne and her husband Mike, it was warm and inviting because it was not about who you were, but more about making the person feel comfortable.  You see, these ladies have been friends for a long time.  Oddly enough, they all met through their children’s sporting activities.  The boys played basketball, baseball and football and the girls were on the cheer squads, and some of the moms and dads were their coaches.   Systematically they all met and became friends, and their friendship has stood the test of time. 

This annual Christmas party (year 7 to be exact) was no different from any other gatherings these couples have at their homes throughout the year. There is a Matriarch, who dresses to the nine’s and when she speaks everybody listens…and her shoe game is fierce, there is the karaoke queen who sings her rendition of “I’m Every Woman by Chaka Kahn at EVERY party—hilarious, there are the dancers in this group and the singers and they all tell the infamous story of how they met and what they have been through as a group, and how they are STILL STANDING.  The husbands and men in their lives are right there with them dancing and singing and sharing stories as well.   They are a family and you sense that the moment you walk through the door. 

There was plenty to do with trivia games and performances, plenty to see, with the girls vs. guys dance off, and plenty to eat – red beans and rice, gumbo and other assorted goodies.  I felt like I did growing up in North Carolina.  Whether it was at my parent’s home, Uncle Don and Aunt Dottie’s or Aunt Novella’s house, we had the type of parties where family and friends dropped by, the door was always opening and closing with more people coming in than going out, our matriarch’s in the kitchen frying chicken and fish and making biscuits and god knows what else, music playing and an over the top card game (bid whist) being played.  Whew, good times!  So thank you Yvonne, Mike, Monica and Scott, for the memories, all is not lost for the fair city of Atlanta.  Keep on doing you and keep on inviting me!

Peace and blessings,

Phaedra

 

Welcome to Living in Atlanta: Blurred Lines - How Business Communication Can Aff...

Welcome to Living in Atlanta: Blurred Lines - How Business Communication Can Aff...: There is nothing more appealing to an MBA graduate, lawyer, or engineer than to move to a city of opportunity like Atlanta.   For the ...



 

Blurred Lines - How Business Communication Can Affect Your Personal Life

There is nothing more appealing to an MBA graduate, lawyer, or engineer than to move to a city of opportunity like Atlanta.  For the corporate woman, it is a business Mecca.  For the corporate single woman, it can also be hell.  As a woman raised in corporate America, communicating with colleagues and clients is easy for me.  When a client relays their company vision for a project, I have a good idea of what they need or want, and in return, I express what we (my company) is capable of providing.  If a miscommunication arises, it is usually because my client did not like my answer, and not because they misunderstood.  Email correspondence, and conference calls are constructed so that each point given is precise and leaves no room for interpretation.  But in dating, these skills are not transferable, and often times the corporate maiden is perceived as being demanding, stiff or cold. 

 

Since communication is the art of and technique of using words effectively to impart information or ideas, why does the corporate maiden fair better in business communications than in communicating on a personal level?  I began to look at the similarities and differences in my business communications and personal communications and this is what I found.

In business…training is essential

A good corporation equips their employees with the necessary tools for success.   Employers train their employees in what is known as “business communications”.  Training workshops and classes on business etiquette, writing and speaking are available to every employee and are more often than not, a mandatory part of performance reviews for all employees in the company.  I took full advantage of these classes and during interaction with colleagues and client meetings had ample opportunity to use the techniques learned from the classes.  Such is not the case in personal life.  In life, there are no training classes or workshops, no simulations of what should be said in certain situations, no dry runs.  In life you have to go through it to know it, and if you’re lucky you will learn from it on the first go round.  But we all know that is not the case.  Life is our training class and we learn (hopefully) valuable lessons sooner rather than later.

In business…it’s a team effort

In corporate America you are never alone, in other words, it is a team environment.  Each team member contributes to the vision according to their specific skill set.  In our personal lives our “team environment” are our girlfriends who offer advice, but often times, they are in the same situation as we are and making questionable choices in their own lives.  But girlfriends are a necessity so, know the skill set of each of your friends and build your team.  No woman is an island having a strong team in your personal life matters.

Business motto…its business, not personal
With that as a mantra swirling around in our heads, it’s no wonder business and personal lines blur.  In business we say… show me the bottom line… now show me how we get there and the projected time of completion.  You work backwards to reach your goal. In personal relationships, it is the opposite.  We start on the common ground of “like”, and then begin the journey of getting to know each other, not really solidifying the bottom line in the beginning.  We are not really sure how much time and work must be put in to see what the outcome will be.  This can be quite a change in how we “do business”.  This is a no brainer…if you want a full life, then you must be willing to take the journey!

My fair corporate maidens, it is possible, no vital, that you separate business from pleasure.  Balance is important and even though some of the skills learned on your way up the corporate ladder can easily be applied to your personal life, one must make an effort of truly valuing the experience of getting to know a person.  Take the time to see where life or a relationship can take you without having a timeline to follow.  Take the journey; it may surprise you where you end up.

 

Peace and blessings

Phaedra

 

A Change in Holiday Traditions

Christmas is right around the corner!  With about 3 weeks to go, people are gearing up for the holiday festivities.  But for someone like me, Christmas will be different this year.  For me this change in holiday activities is pretty much the beginning of change in my holiday life for the rest of my life.

This past spring, I became an “empty nester”, so not only has my day-to-day life has changed, but also my holiday activities changed tremendously.  My daughter and grandchildren are in their own place so a lot of the special holiday traditions we did when my daughter was young are now obsolete.  I am excited for them as they make up their own way to celebrate the holidays with each other.  Now the question becomes, “What am I going to do this Christmas?” 

A Change in Holiday Traditions

It used to be that I would cook huge meals consisting of pretty much the same food (ham, fried chicken, collards, yams, potato salad, chocolate cake etc…) every month from November thru January; I no longer have to do that.

I don’t have to buy a live tree, strap it to my beautiful clean car, drag it through the front door, set it up in the stand and decorate it poking myself in neck, chest and back just to decorate it perfectly.   I don’t even have to decorate my condo with lights on the mantle, poinsettias, trinkets my daughter made in school through the years and miles and miles of garland. I don’t have to make decisions on what toys and clothes to purchase and how I was going to purchase them. I don’t have to water that dam tree every day!

No more settling in the evening of Christmas Eve with a bottle of wine because I know that 50+ presents had to be wrapped before 5 am in the morning.  I don’t have to remember to bake cookies for Santa and its 2 o’clock in the morning and I have been drinking wine and wrapping presents all night.  I don’t have to remember at 4:30 in the morning, that I need to get out of my bed, go into the kitchen and take two bites out of two cookies with a sip of milk so that my daughter would know that Santa was there.  Wine, cookies and milk do not sit well on your stomach at 4:30 in the morning. 

Lastly, I do not have to wake up at 5 am in the morning only to find that all the presents have already been opened and that wrapping paper and boxes are all over the place, look to my left to find my child sitting in the mist of this paper mess playing joyfully with some electronic gadget smiling and asking me…”Hey mommy, what’s for breakfast?”  Again I ask you…”What am I going to do this Christmas season”?

I’ll tell you what I’m going to do this Christmas season…NOTHING!  The grandchildren’s presents will be wrapped and delivered to their house 3 days before Christmas.  I’m going to wake up at whatever time my eyes open.  I may eat breakfast, I may not.  I will enjoy a nicely prepared steak dinner with whatever fixing’s I choose, and I am going to sit on my warm cushiony leather sofa with a blanket and a glass of wine  watch the Law and Order marathons ALL DAY!

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way, oh what fun Phaedra will have doing absolutely nothing all day!!!

Peace and blessings,

Phaedra

 

WORLD AIDS DAY

It is 1980, and the world as we know it, changed forever all due to a life robbing disease called AIDS.  It’s hard to imagine the world without this disease.  For someone like myself, I can remember a time when our world was AIDS free.  But then I look at my daughter and my grandchildren and realize that this disease has been a part of their world just as long as they have been alive…and there is still no cure.  Today, is World AIDS Day. 

Through the tireless efforts of the gay community, researchers, doctors, and philanthropic organizations, tremendous advances in education, prevention and the medical treatment of AIDS have been made through the years.  But it’s not enough, the epidemic continues to disproportionately impact gay and bisexual men, transgender women, youth 13-24… especially in communities of color.  According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), there are over a million Americans living with HIV and approximately 500,000 new infections every year.  The highest rate among that group is found among young black men. 
Of late, the silence about this epidemic is deafening.  We live each day in a world where people are either living with this disease or finding out HOW to live the rest of their lives with this disease and our discussions about it has seemingly come to a halt.  Why is that?  Have we become desensitized to it, accepting it status quo, treating it as if it were as common as the flu or the common cold?  What will it take for you as an individual or better yet, we as a community to restart conversations within our own families and with each other?

The world as I knew it is no more, and I have come to realize that the conversations that I will have with my family are much more complex than the conversations my parents and grandparents had with me and my sister.   But you can best believe that we will continue have the hard hitting talks, the uncomfortable conversations and brutal honesty necessary to educate and inform and I pray that you and your family continue to have these types of talks as well.

Peace and blessings,

Phaedra


 

JOYFUL SUNDAY

Sunday is my favorite day of the week.  In a city like Atlanta, movement is constant.  There is always something to do or to see, people to meet and events to attend.  With the seemingly never ending work week, I look forward to my Sunday. 

On Sunday, I have no agenda, no tasks to complete and I don’t make any plans.  This is the only day of the week that I feel that I am actually living in the moment, because I am doing exactly what I want to do.  I spend this day focusing only on me.  I read, write; take walks, whatever comes to my mind that is what I will do.  The inner voice that speaks to me during the course of the week is clearer, concise and audible.   My muse, well she is always present, but on Sundays she is stronger, and it is mainly where I get my ideas for topics for this blog and other business ventures that I desire to start.  But more than that, on Sundays, I feel at peace, a peace which passes all understanding.  A peace in which I don’t think about what did not happen last week, nor will I think about what could possibly happen on Monday.  I am in the moment, and it feels wonderful!

Now you may be wondering to yourself: there are seven days in the week and you only have one day to feel like this…you’re missing out on something.  Well, no, that’s not what I am saying.  I am always joyful and thankful whatever day it is and profess my thankfulness daily.  But if you have a day or a time of the day in which everything comes together, and you take the time to be present in it, to listen and to be still, then you will know exactly what I am talking about.  If you don’t, then I suggest that you get one.

Life in the city tends to be hard on everything from the car that you drive daily, to your body, to your mind and we need to take time out and "just be".  To replenish our souls with what we have to face the next day or even the next moment, so that you too can find your own “Joyful Sunday”.

Peace and blessings,

Phaedra


 

Living in Atlanta New Email Address!

Now you can contact Living In Atlanta any time you want at the NEW Living in Atlanta email address:  atlrealliving@gmail.com. 

Living in Atlanta would love to hear from you!  Feel free to send in questions and/or comments about the blog.  We are looking for questions and topics ranging from financial and political to relationships to entertainment.  No subject is too small or considered taboo. 

There are some really exciting things happening within the coming months, so stay tuned!

Peace and blessings,
Phaedra



 

Online Dating - Holiday Edition Pt. 2

By now you have uploaded your picture(s) to the site.  I can only imagine how many views you have received.  Well over 100 I know!  For me, the most aggravating feature on a dating website are..."Flirts".

  Flirts

 As I have learned, “flirts” are brief pre-written words (usually less than 5 words) potential suitors send to see if you are interested in them.   They are cheesy in content and usually go something like …”I’m Interested in you”, or “Great Photo!” and if the potential suitor is bold enough, they may send a flirt with “Flowers”.  Now tell me, what is a person to do with that?  Usually the first thing one does is click on the sender’s profile to view the picture and to read what they have written about themselves.  If the receiver likes what they see and read, they send a flirt back using the same cheesy 5 words that were sent to them.  This, believe it or not, opens the door for dialogue. 

As this is one of the main ways to break the ice and create dialogue, it very often ends there.  Let’s say that you viewed the sender’s profile, and liked the photo and the bio, you respond back in a timely manner…and you NEVER hear from them again!  What is that all about?  Why even send the dumb thing, if you are never going to respond back? 

Here's another scenario, let’s say you received a flirt November 14th and you respond back on the 16th, you’re then thinking that you should hear back from this guy in about 2 to 3 days,  a week tops. As it turns out, he sends his reply back on December 14th!  It has been a month from the initial mutual contact.  You can pretty much figure that his subscription will end at 12:01 that night and he  is racing against the clock to respond back before he has to pay another $28.99 to respond to a flirt he should have answered 3 weeks ago.  I tell you…it’s crazy. 

Messages

If you dislike flirts, you can opt to just send them a message.  The same thing can happen when responding and sending messages, that’s why for an extra $3.99 per month, you can confirm that the person received/opened your message.   For an additional $3.99, I can go to McDonald’s a get a 3 piece Mighty Wings meal, sit in front of my television and watch  “The Voice” in the privacy of my living room!  I’ve already spent $28.99 for the one month of service on the site, and now there is a fee to see if someone opens my email? Ain’t Nobody Got No Time For That!

The Meet

Finally, after the flirt, the messages, the exchange of telephone numbers and a telephone conversation or two, you should meet in person.  You should do this sooner rather than later.  A prolonged meeting is a “Red Flag”.  If the person is not willing to meet you within a week of talking, cut all communications.   Why let them fill your head with gum drops and lollipops, if they stall and avoid meeting you?  It’s not worth your energy, something is up.

Your first meet should be simple, informal.  It should also be in a place where there are people around like a coffee shop.  College students are always in coffee shops!  It should be a place where there are enough people who notice when you come in and when you leave, but not so many people there that you can’t hear each other nor can anyone hear what you are saying.  Most importantly, be safe and know your surroundings. 

If the first meet goes well, then you are on your way to finding out more about them, if not, and then tactfully thank them while getting ready to make your exit.

Closing the Loop

If the meet did not go as expected and you find that you are not interested in spending time with this person, tell them.  More than likely a follow up telephone call will come the next day, or perhaps you can call the next day thanking them for meeting with you.  Be tactful but truthful.  Remember, the same words you say to a person, another person may say to you.  Karma is a b*&$#!  You may say something like:  “Thank you for meeting me last night, but I feel that I do not want to pursue a second date”.   This closes the loop and the person will know exactly where they stand.  And for goodness sake, don’t say “maybe we can be friends”.  These days and times the word “friends” has an entirely different meaning.

Online dating can be frustrating and even a little scary.  You never know who is at the other end of that mouse or behind that monitor.  Dating has changed so much since this online tool has come into our lives, and appears that gone are the days where you were guaranteed to meet a person by just being out and about.  Use good judgment, never let anyone pressure you into doing or going anywhere that you do not feel comfortable and always, always be safe.

Happy holidays and dating.

Peace and blessings,

Phaedra


 

Blog Spotlight - Konsole Kingz, An Urban Gaming Brand




CJ Peters, CEO Konsole Kingz

Have you ever walked into a situation thinking that it would be one way, and it ended up being totally different?  Such was the case with my interview with CJ Peters aka “King Soul” founder and creator of Konsole Kingz.

Driving down I85 on my way to the interview, my pre-rehearsed questions were still swirling around in my head.  His staff consists of a partner, a graphic designer and contractors, and putting on my business hat, I wanted to know exactly what Konsole Kingz is and how revenue is generated from this type of industry.  Clearly I was single minded.

As I pulled into the office complex located on North Avenue, it was just as I imagined it would look.  The buildings are very modern structures.   You know the type of place someone creative would work. Score one for me!  Having met Cj before, he was as I remembered, calm in demeanor, relaxed and approachable.  Score two for me…I was on a roll.

After some small talk, we finally settled down to the heart of the interview.

ARL:  So, what is Konsole Kingz and what do you do?
King SOUL: I like to describe Konsole Kingz as the MTV of the gaming industry.
ARL: Huh?
KING SOUL:  MTV was the vehicle in which music, videos, documentaries concerts, etc.. was introduced to the masses.  BUT…
ARL: MTV didn’t make music
KING SOUL:  Exactly, MTV didn’t make the music, but became known for music and so much more through their play of music videos.  Konsole Kingz doesn’t make video games, but is known for the playing of video games and so much more.  Through our gaming and entertainment vehicles, gamers can access the latest gaming news and releases, attend celebrity gaming events, and can play and interact with other gamers across the country.  Through two avenues, content and experimental, online scheduled “game nights” events are held where gamers can play the latest Xbox or PlayStation games with members of our team and other gamers.  Off line, we hold the same type of events on our own and for video game vendors.  For instance if a new game is being rolled out for Xbox games, or if a specific game is being marketed, and a celebrity look is needed, the video company will hire us to host their event.

Another part of our content that’s found on Xbox is called “Virtual Goods” in the form of gamer picks.  A gamer pick is an icon that is designed for the gamer to purchase for his /her gamming profile.  We also have a store in the avatar market place called “Ultrafresh” where our clothing brand, LRG is sold.   We also create stores for popular urban lifestyle brands
ARL:  So the avatar comes with the game, but you provide the clothing for a gamer to dress it?
KING SOUL: Yes, the avatar comes with the game, and the gamer chooses an avatar. If the gamer wants to customize their avatar with clothing, (i.e. pants, shorts, tee shirts, headgear and jewelry), they access the avatar market place and choose a store.  There are other stores to choose from, but for our store, you would choose Ultrafresh.  For Play Station, we create dynamic themes (wallpapers). This content is sold for the gamers use.

ARL:  Social media is such an integral part of a company’s marketing strategy, what role does your website, Twitter, IG, Facebook, and You Tube play in receiving feedback from your population?

KING SOUL:  Our website is not really used that much, but for legitimacy purposes we have one.  Social media is one of the main forms of engagement for our business.  Due to quicker response time for questions and information, gamers engage with us more through social platforms than our website. 

ARL: Very interesting. I looked you up on You Tube and found that you do a lot of interviews with up and coming hip-hop performers here in Atlanta.  Is this where the hip-hop element comes into play?  And better yet…Why Hip-hop???

KING SOUL:  I AM HIP-HOP!
ARL:  Wow, what a bold statement…you are hip-hop, explain what that has to do with the gaming industry.
KING SOUL: (Laughing) It has to do with me. It’s what I have been listening to since I was six years old.  I was a DJ in high school and college.  I also had a radio show in college where I played underground hip-hop music.  It’s a lifestyle, my lifestyle and my background.  Let’s say you have super tech geeky dudes that may not hang out with hip hop gamers, they speak their own language, and play games, and then you have hip-hop individuals with their own language, likes and dislike and in addition to that, they like gaming.  It’s a huge cross section of people who share a similar lifestyle.
ARL:  So your business is just a reflection of your lifestyle.
KING SOUL:  It’s a reflection of my lifestyle and everything that I like.

 Being that large populations of hip-hop artist are gamers, Konsole Kingz is always searching for what is new and hot in the hip-hop world.  As Cj puts it “ there are plenty of people who like to play games and listen to hip-hop music, but for this cross section of individuals, hip-hop is the essence inside of us. Long after a game has been played or maybe waiting for the next game to start (referred to as “party”), we are talking about the music”. They are not only talking about it, they are bringing up and coming Atlanta hip-hop artists to the forefront.

 To see who is up and coming on the hip hop scene, and to view Konsole Kingz celebrity interviews, check out Konsole Kingz artist interviews on You Tube.com.

As we went deeper into this conversation I couldn’t help but wonder …why Atlanta?

ARL:  Why be headquartered in Atlanta?
KING SOUL:  As OutKast once said…Atlanta is the Motown of the South (laughing). At least that what I heard when I was in college.
ARL:  So, when you were at LSU, you knew that you were coming to the Atlanta? (Laughing)
KING SOUL: I didn’t know that per se.  I had a choice; I could go to Kentucky, Houston or Atlanta because I had job offers in the web/tech field in all three cities. The Atlanta job was more creative and I am a creative person…and it also helped that OutKast said that Atlanta was the Motown of the South.  
ARL:  So do you believe that Atlanta is the Motown of the South?
KING SOUL: Yep
ARL:  Do you think that we’ve peaked, or we are peaking musically?
KING SOUL:  We have not peaked, but we have established ourselves to be beyond the beginning phases.  And now that people are creating more content here via movies, and television shows, it’s fueling it even more.  There was a Canadian study conducted which stated that when any type of popular music breaks in Atlanta, it will go more than likely go national.
ARL:  I can’t wait to see what our city does next.
KING SOUL:  There will be a lot more content coming out of Atlanta.

 Konsole Kingz is a company where the gaming and entertainment worlds coexist, so that anyone, even a newbie like myself, can access the latest gaming news and releases, play and interact with other gamers across the country, attend celebrity gaming events, and  listen to what’s hot in hip-hop. Expect to see more innovative ideas from this Atlanta based company.

 There is a lot that can be said about what motivates a person.  As I learned from Cj, it’s not only the right music that moves him but also his appreciation for what it takes for an artist to create and to distribute their art.  From Cj, I learned that it’s not only about generating revenue; it’s also about creating your business so that it is an extension of yourself.  From the outside looking in, his business model is simple "find what you love and build everything else around it”.  That’s easier said than done, but for Cj Peters, aka King Soul, it’s a winning combination, and through his life reflections and everything that he likes, gamers and hip-hop lovers across the country can do what they love too.

 Until next time…Peace and Blessings,

Phaedra

https://www.facebook.com/phaedra.saunders

Online Dating - Holiday Edition Part I

Online Dating - Holiday Edition – Part I

Online dating has been around for some time now and has grown increasing popular in the singles’ community.  I would be so bold to say that from my perspective, it can also be one of the most frustrating processes to endure.  Now that the holidays are here, and the weather is cold, people have a tendency to want to connect and get close with someone; you can expect to see more than the usual traffic on the dating websites during this time of the year.

Single women in Atlanta often hear is that the ratio of women to men in Atlanta is 20:1.  For a single woman, like myself, who is looking for a true meaningful relationship, that ratio scares me.  They say that a more accurate ratio of women to men in Atlanta is 2:1; unfortunately this does not include the population of gay men in Atlanta or men in prison.  But, it is still better than 20:1.

I have often been told that there is a formula to successful online dating.  I still have not mastered the formula, but I can share with you tidbits, hidden meanings and “red flags” that a single person should look for when putting themselves out there in cyberspace looking for love.  Now, I am speaking purely from a woman's perspective, so guys please feel free to tell me if you encounter similar dating situations.

CHOOSING A DATING WEBSITE

The old adage is true; you get what you pay for.  There are plenty of “FREE” dating websites that you can choose from.  How can I say this and still be politically correct and at the same time tell the truth?  I can’t…free websites gives you guaranteed expose to everything thing that you are NOT looking for in a mate.  At least with a paying site, you can see that a person has earned enough money for at least 1 month of services which put them on an equal playing field in that respect…enough said!!I

CURRENT STATUS

This means your current dating status, single, divorced etc... Here are some current status’ you should avoid:

Separated/Legally Separated  

Keep it moving!  If you are separated be it legal or not it means one thing…YOU ARE MARRIED and have no business on a dating website or even talking to anyone for dating purposes period.  For all those who fall into that category, take my advice, pay the extra $350 and get a divorce then enter into the dating world as a true single person!

Divorced:  Find out how long this person has been divorced.  If it has been less than 18 months, Keep it moving, because at this point you are dating him AND the ex-wife because that will be the only thing he is  going to talk about… the EX!

Single:  Many interpret this as… Are you married? Although they may not be married, find out just how single the person is.  Ask questions like: are you living with anyone or is anyone living with you, do you have a girlfriend?  I like to ask this question:  Is there anyone (woman) out there who BELIEVES that you are their F-R-I-E-N-D?  More than likely the answer to this question is “yes” and again I say…Keep it moving, they are in a relationship but not married… meaning they are cheating and it’s a waste of time thinking that the individual is free and clear and they are clearly not.

THE PROFILE

OMG, if this isn’t the broadest representation of a person I’ve ever seen!  But you can tell a lot by a person’s profile.  For instance, I perceive the person who does not bother to write anything about themselves on their profile as a lazy person.  Why use this type of dating vehicle if you do not write anything out there for a person to know a little something about you?  I know that the set-up of your account took time, but why not finish the job?  Personally, I do not respond to anyone who does not write about themselves on their profile.

Then there is the person who writes absolutely too much on their profile!  I mean com’on; must you post a poem that you wrote while sitting up all night contemplating your life’s purpose?  Moderation is key.  Tell just enough for someone to get a general idea of the type person that you are. Be clear, concise and to the point.  No need to tell them everything about you on your profile…that is what the dating process is for. 

ASK ME FOR MY PHOTO

WHY???  The site clearly tells you that you get a better response when you post photos.  If you want conversation, why not complete the profile and include at least one picture of yourself?  And please, post a recent photo.  I know that I do not want to see a picture of a person taken 20 years ago when they were in the Navy.  Are you in the Navy now?  Probably not, you have since retired with 25 years of service.  Post a picture of yourself at your retirement party for god sakes!  It may not land you a 25 year old hot chick, but at least you will be honest. 

NO PICTURE

If you do not place a picture on line, you are not going to get any responses what-so-ever. Who wants to try to communicate with someone who doesn’t write anything about themselves AND you don’t have a picture?!!  I perceive these individuals as NOT TRUSTWORTHY!  People are very visual and as they say on line –“no pic, no pick”. (laughing)

**Also beware of the pictures that are too good to be true, perfect, and flawless.  Although there are beautiful people all around the globe, online dating sites are a heaven for internet scammers.  They often post pictures of beautiful people just to get the attention of possible targets.  We’ll talk about that later in future post.

Overwhelmed yet? Just imagine how you will feel when you post your profile to a site.  But take heart, we will dive deeper into online dating in future post.  Sadly, it seems as if this form of dating is not going away, but one can be smarter when it comes to dating on line in Atlanta.  Stay tuned for future post.  I haven’t even gotten started yet! Happy hunting.

Peace and Blessings,

Phaedra

Blog "Spotlight" - Konsole Kingz

…What happens when the hip-hop, gaming, and fashion worlds collide? 

Living in Atlanta is talking with Cj Peters creator and founder of Konsole Kingz, the hippest, hottest, one-of-a-kind multimedia entity in urban gaming.   

In our November blog, find out how Cj aka “King Soul”, took his two passions -- hip-hop music and gaming, and through his innovation, created this one of a kind business and the effect his business has on the Atlanta music scene and gaming community. 

Stay tune Konsole Kingz is up next on Living in Atlanta!

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Circles

I've heard it said that a person should keep their circle of friends the size of a cheerio, meaning smaller is better. But there are other components to your circle besides size. 

Everyone wishes for a group of cool, tight knitted friends.  The type of person in which you know the exact moment they became your friend. You know, like the Will Truman's and Grace Adler's of the world (Will & Grace), or perhaps the ultra-hip, highly successful, college friends like in the movie "The Best Man". 

These types of relationships are rare, established and true to form by way of experiencing and witnessing pivotal moments in life, the failures, the imperfections and the triumphs.  A close circle of friends has a watchful eye on each other by any means necessary...social media...modern technology... or just by a good 'ol fashion meet- and-say-hi. It is a beautiful thing.

Components of your circle

This past weekend, I traveled to Austell, Georgia, to a housewarming party. Sam & Tracy's housewarming was exactly that --warm--homey, and inviting.  This couple is blessed with a beautiful home to continue raising and nurturing their family, and on Saturday, I received a blessing by being a part of their "small" circle of friends.  Tracy and I met on a contract job assignment about 3 years ago.  It's funny, what started out as a contract assignment with an individual, turned into being a bonafide lasting friendship.  My circle just got a little wider...

Sunday morning had me travelling to Lithonia, Georgia, where after years of invitations to attend, I was able to attend my good friend's Women's Day Celebration.  I've know Shawanna for over 9 years and knew that she sang in the choir, but I didn't know she sang like that!  She had a message for us that day, and I was fortunate enough to hear it.  It goes to show you that you never know everything about your friends!  My circle just sang a melody...

 

Developing your circle takes time. It is a two way street that involves the change and evolution of  individuals. It is a task that should be worked on constantly.  It can be a weighty responsibility, but highly rewarding.  For some, their circle is like family.  After all, these are the people who come into your life for a reason, for a season...and decided it was worth it to stay.  My circle just got a little more appreciative...

Peace and blessings,

Phaedra

Welcome to Living in Atlanta: Living in Atlanta - It's Fall This is one of the...

Welcome to Living in Atlanta: Living in Atlanta - It's Fall

This is one of the...: Living in Atlanta - It's Fall This is one of the many things that I love about Atlanta and the surrounding areas.  You can be stuck ...

Living in Atlanta - It's Fall

This is one of the many things that I love about Atlanta and the surrounding areas.  You can be stuck in grid lock traffic on I85 one minute and exit off the ramp to a quaint part of the city and notice that the season has indeed changed.

Yesterday morning when I walked out of the house, I noticed the chill in the air but really didn't pay attention to anything else except getting to work on time.  By the time I left work I was...you guessed it.. in TRAFFIC.  Yet another distraction!  Exiting off the exit ramp, the scenery changed, traffic thinned out, and before I knew it I noticed the color of leaves on the trees changed.  At the stop light, I looked to my left and saw this sea of "orange".  It was so bright I stared at it for what I thought was a moment, but then snapped out of my daze as the car behind me blew its horn for me to move forward. The sea of "orange" was a pumpkin patch...and it was then that I realized fall was here.

Now this may not seem like a big deal for you, but a change in seasons for me represents yet another change or phase in life. This past summer, I turned a year older and celebrated my birthday with style.  I traveled to another country and made new friends in the process.  I was carefree, enjoying the sunshine, ready to go wherever... whenever.  As the season changed to cooler weather, there is a tendency to be reflective, still and quiet.  To stay in Sunday afternoons and lie on the couch watching football and eating hot wings. To get my mind and menu started for the upcoming Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. Good times none the less.

I am so glad now that I can  recognize and appreciate the changes in my life. For me, change is growth and as I change and grow in this fall/winter season, I am excited about it and look forward to wrapping up in my blanket on the couch, starting a new winter project, laughing and talking with family and friends, and most of all...growing.   

Happy Fall Everyone!

Peace and blessings,
Phaedra