You Married Who??…Self-Marriage the New Trend

I am hearing more and more stories about single women marrying themselves; it’s called “Self Marriage”.  Self- marriage is when a woman plans and executes a wedding ceremony where she marries herself.  She makes a grand entrance, usually in “wedding gown like” attire, and says vows of commitment in front of family and friends.  More elaborate ceremonies come equipped with bridesmaids, flowers, a wedding cake, a wedding ring, someone walking her down the aisle, full pledge reception and HONEYMOON!  The planning, the frustration…the costs!  Really…I wonder if it’s open bar too.

The reasons for such occasions vary from overcoming obstacles from being in a bad relationship, a recent divorce and re-dedication to love oneself, or, and get this…they were not married by their predetermined set age, so they married themselves instead.  It is through this type of ceremony where a re-dedication of love and respect for self is expressed to all in attendance.  But I can’t help but wonder if all this is needed to love yourself?

When I first heard the term “self-love”, I will admit that I did not know where to start or how to do it.  Quite often women feel that loving themselves begins externally; they criticize their weight, the way they look, and their lack of accomplishments in their life thus far, feeling that if those things are not in line with where they think they should be they are somehow a failure.  And while all of that is important to improve, through years of soul searching and enlightenment, I know without a shadow of a doubt that if you look at your life through such a narrow scope, you will always feel unworthy, unaccomplished and depleted. 

Think about this…if the universe is constantly changing, and there is an ebb and flow of unseen energy that has the power to direct our paths in a different direction, what makes you think that your life’s’ direction has not changed and is not continuously changing?  Here’s a bigger question… Do you know what direction your life is flowing? Loving yourself begins with YOU and the perception you have about your life and the experiences that comes with it is the only thing that YOU can change.  Loving yourself is personal; it takes time, and is a process.  The steps to self-love are not easy steps to take.  It requires falling down and getting back up yet again.  But you do get up and try again and soon enough, that particular thing may no longer be an issue for you, and that my lovelies are the things to celebrate.

So whereas I do not feel the need openly express my self-love by planning and executing a marriage ceremony that involves only me, I do agree with having the actions in my everyday life that proves only to me, that I am loved.  I’ll save the marriage part for the man of my dreams.

Until next time my lovelies…

Peace and blessings,

Phaedra